Not being able to attend the most amazing, inspiring, life-changing, powerful Eklektos back at KK every Sat, I learned that life still goes on and eventually people move on.
Nothing new actually. Exposed to that ever since primary school graduation; moving on to a higher education level; moving to a new place; every year's 31st of December and embarking a new fresh year.
Church wise, moving from a cell group to a new cell group; a farewell of a leader; the motion of life between events after events after events.
Who are we lying to? We NEED to move on in order to survive in life.
When I was helping out at church back at KK, it is almost effortless for me to move on from one thing to another. And getting used to not have people around anymore after their farewells? It takes less than a day to move on. Heartless? I know. I'm guilty as charged.
I discovered how fast I can move on and I didn't feel as good about it. Didn't realize this new habit of mine until cell groups reshuffled, from leading e2 to t7. Until when I put less effort in maintaining great friendships. Until when people started leaving for further studies. As if all of this is motionless motion.
One of the conversations I had with Easter was that we're so good in making friends but we do not foresee or have the intention of building long lasting friendships anymore. It's so easy to just meet new people, hear them out, hang out, share life together, do life together but life is still alright without them. Call it maturity or normal, I call it "where has my passion for people gone to?"
I've always love connecting with people. A true fan of hearing people out.
In fact, I still love meeting new people, I still love understanding people. But my heart and intention seems to differ over time.
Genuiness lasted only as far as a conversation can last.
Interest lasted only as far as it needs to be.
Until I came Miri. As if the camera shifts to me. Now I'm the person that people celebrates my farewell.
Boy was I screaming, HOW CAN PEOPLE MOVE ON SO FAST! IT'S NOT FAIR!
Look who's talking, I told myself.
Maybe because when life gets you going, there isn't really much time to reflect on the past memories cause we're busy making new ones. The focus and attention required for the future greater things is more than enough to keep our emotions busy. And by the time we look back at those past memories, the feelings or emotions we first experience is no longer that familiar to us anymore.
I was like that. In fact, I still tend to be a person that moves on to the next thing in life in a short time. But it got me thinking. Am I living a motionless motion life, or am I living a life loving Jesus and His people even more each day?
Life goes on. People move on.
I'm all in for that, because we do not run this race by looking backward, but looking forward and setting our eyes on the prize.
But it got me thinking, do pursuing our dreams would cost us the authenticity in relating to people? Does life itself cost us from loving people even more each day?
I think what I'm trying to say is that I miss having that authentic compassion for people. I miss rejoicing when a brother rejoices, and mourn when a brother mourns. I miss connecting with people in utterly realness. I miss hanging out with people not for the sake of killing time but rather enjoying that person's presence.
God, renew my passion for people.
