When it felt like it was just a short while ago that Max mentioned he'll go Aus for further studies, yesterday finally came. After months of emotional preparation, i can only come to a conclusion that I'm not even close to be prepared for it.
In this 'crying and trying-hard-not-to-cry' process, i learnt a few things that I would like to list it on my blog. Hopefully somehow it'll serve as a record of 'where i was' and 'where i am now' in future.
1. Don't rush yourself in the process of regaining strength
I think what made a person strong is not avoidance of pain by keeping yourself busy, but rather acknowledging the pain and know that God is in the process with you.
2. Discovery of self is an adventure
Through this process, I've discovered that I am weaker than I thought I was. I've realized that being honest with your weakness liberates you. I've recognized that it's okay to feel needy at times - in need of friends' shoulders to cry on, in need of companionship through tough times and in need of a reminder that I can always call out to Jesus.
3. God is in my weeping
Just like the song 'Everything' by Tim Hughes :
God in my hoping, there in my dreaming,
God in my watching, God in my waiting,
God in my laughing, there in my weeping,
God in my hurting, God in my healing
This process helps me to really experience that God is not only present during joyful times, but He is also near in desperate and weeping times.
Personally I think day 1 of having a long distance relationship with the world's-best-boyfriend is really hard, but i find comfort that nothing is too hard for the Lord; I love Max a lot, but I know that God loves him more than I do.
God is still good, even in the midst of pain.
